I am a university student who has been fascinated with issues relating to politics and philosophy since I was in early middle school, for about seven years now. As I matured throughout my adolescence, increasing my knowledge about the world, I had a wide ranging journey. This involved going from being very conservative in middle school, to being much more liberal in high school, to now where I don’t quite fit into any box or label. One thing which was relatively constant throughout this journey was that I always tried to be as honest as I could and change my mind when faced with new evidence or better arguments. I think being autistic helped me with this as it meant I was able to think outside of existing social norms, enabling me to question whatever I was assimilated into. This meant that I was able to have relatively heterodox views for someone of whichever political label I felt best described me.
Unfortunately, this came at a cost. My ability to rationally question social norms led me to reject the dominant liberal social norms within my high school and university environment as I grew older. I saw people who held onto those norms as intolerant and dogmatic, unable to grasp the nuance of societal structures. In high school, I felt socially pressured to not openly discuss my issues with the dominant ideological framework, which led me to express myself in more covert ways. It made me increasingly uncomfortable to be in the liberal spaces where I felt like I was lying to myself and others. I grew resentful of what I saw as a structure I felt powerless to fight against.
In the summer between graduating high school and entering university, I decided to make it my mission to advance as high as possible within the university system once I entered university. This was to ensure I had the best opportunity possible to make my small part in trying to stop the censoriousness and dogmatism that characterized society, which I believed has its roots within academia. I also made a promise to myself that I would never again lie about what I believed. I believed the issue was one of a rejection of truth, and I refused to play into that game.
Entering university, I became extremely industrious. I got top-level grades and I was extremely active in the university community with extracurriculars and volunteer work. I also became an increasingly divisive figure within the institution. While I was well-respected by many of my peers for being knowledgeable, hardworking, and positively contributing to the community, I was also very disliked by many for my views on various issues. I got into many arguments online and in-person with people about political and philosophical issues, and got bullied a fair amount for my heterodox views. Like students at most universities, the students at mine were very left-leaning, Any deviation could not be tolerated.
I continued to advance in my community, getting more and more involved and even starting my own club to freely discuss and debate political issues. However, the growing number of people who I made enemies with made it their mission to take me down by any means necessary. This was achieved when I tried to run for student government in my institution. Several individuals started a large-scale public defamation campaign and succeeded. I not only lost the election, but I was ostracized from nearly every space I involved myself in, and the spaces I created were effectively destroyed. Everything I worked for two years to build; All the time, energy, and sacrifices I made, essentially came to nothing. And it was all because I dared to think.
I learned that one cannot simply enter the cathedral as a nobody and successfully take it down single-handedly. I’m young, and I’m still learning things. I spent the past two years engaging in a mission which failed, all the while reducing my opportunities to truly advance my knowledge further. I still was developing intellectually, but I felt that I was doing so at a shorter pace than I had been doing before I started university. Hours each day that could have been spent learning important concepts and ideas were instead spent going to random meetings and making social media posts for something I didn’t really care about half the time. My “cancellation” gave me the opportunity to return to my passions outside the useless pencil pushing the cathedral demands of students who wish to enter its tallest ivory towers.
Exiled, this is my only outlet for expression and truth seeking. In a very real sense, the creation of this website is the ultimate act of rebellion and liberation. Because there is nothing more powerful than a thought.